.This and the following Q&A's were contributed by a female piper who wishes to remain anonymous.

Q. How does a piper measure his/her IQ?
A. With a tire gauge.

Q. How do you plant dope?
A. Bury a piper.

Q. How do you kill a piper?
A. Fix his hearing aids.

Q. What do in tune pipers and UFO’s have in common?
A. I keep hearing about them but never see any.

Q. What’s the difference between a bagpipe and a Porsche?
A. Nobody cares if the bagpipe crashes into a wall at a high speed.

Q. What’s the difference between an in-tune piper and Bigfoot?
A. Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q. What do in tune pipers and UFO’s have in common?
A. I keep hearing about them but never see any.

Q. Why do Pipers always march while playing?
A. More difficult to hit a moving target.

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